Mad Libs, VC edition

Leonard Stern, inventor of Mad Libs, died last week. According to his obituary, Stern created Mad Libs when he was writing a script for the Honeymooners and was casting around for an adjective to complete a sentence. His colleague offered up “naked” and “clumsy,” making Stern laugh and setting off a cascade of events that led to sales of more than 150 million copies.

Stern’s obituary really jumped out at me because two days ago I was joking with my business partner Dave that we should create Mad Libs–the venture capital edition. Such a version could look like a business plan executive summary. To be honest, I can’t imagine a Mad Libs entry being any more hilarious than some of the real life executive summaries we receive, but I love a challenge.

So what follows is an homage to Mr Stern and his great creation follows. Enjoy. And if you are one of my healthcare VC colleagues, try this at your next partners’ meeting:

_____________________

Dear Ms. Suennen,

I am writing to you today about my new company, __ (sound) __. The company was founded in __ (year) __ and I am confident it is the best investment opportunity you will ever see. I have no doubt it will be even bigger and more successful than ___ (a company name) ___ in no time.

As everyone knows, every day more than ___ (number) ___ ___ (type/category of people) ___ are plagued by uncontrollable __ (body part) __ spasms. Sometimes these spasms are so ___ (adjective) ___ that their victims are rendered unable to ___ (verb) ___. Naturally, this can lead to excessive ___ (verb ending in “ing”) ___. Needless to say, this can cause both pain and embarrassment.

I have invented a new product called the ___ (adjective)_ __ ___ (animal) ___ that immediately cures these spasms, makes people look at least ___ (number from 1-10) ___ years younger and enables them to play the __ (musical instrument) __ even though they could not do so before treatment.

I have virtually no competition in this market. My closest competitor has tried to cure the spasms by applying hot ___ (type of liquid) ___ to the affected area, but this is only effective with that small subset of people who have ___ (adjective) ___ ___ (body part-plural) __. The only other available treatment is for ___ (a celebrity) ___ to vigorously rub the affected area with a ___ (noun) ___, but everyone knows that is too time-consuming and expensive, not to mention hard to scale. I am able to provide my solution far more cost-effectively because the product is made in ___ (country) ___ by ___ (animals) ___ who are willing to be paid in ___ (plural noun) ___.

The FDA has informed me that it will only take __ _(number) ___ years to get the product approved so I can launch it in no time! However, I already know the treatment works because in the clinical tests I have done so far, every patient has said, “___ (exclamation)_ __!” Immediately after treatment.

You may be wondering about my CEO credentials. You should know that I am ideally suited to run this company because of my _ __(number)_ __ year background as a ___ (profession) ___. While this is my first foray as an entrepreneur, I know I will be successful because everyone tells me I am ___ (adjective) ___.

I am confident that this company will have more than ___ (large number) ___ dollars in revenue within 5 years, and that is the conservative estimate. Because no company has ever had the kind of impact on medicine as mine will, it will certainly be worth over $___ (number from 1-100) ___ billion within ___ (number) ___ _ __(units of time)___.

In order to bring my product to market I will only need $___ (number)_ __ dollars in investment capital. In addition to money, I am seeking a venture investor who is willing to bring their ___ (a talent) ___ skills to the table.

I look forward to your feedback on my ___ (adjective) ___ business plan.

Sincerely, John Q. Entrepreneur

Lisa Suennen is a co-founder and Managing Member of Psilos Group, a healthcare-focused venture capital firm with over $577 million under management.