Gullible citizens of the internet, beware. You’re about to see a lot of brands announcing new products today, all of which serendipitously seem to release on April 1.
It’s April Fools’ Day, and just because Microsoft’s abstaining from pranking festivities this year, that hasn’t deterred other companies from celebrating the holiday.
Here’s a roundup of who’s (not really) doing what, so that you don’t get had.
Mr. Potato Head isn’t getting replaced with man-bunned Mr. Avo Head
Don’t worry. Your carby childhood friend hasn’t fallen victim to a millennial rebrand—we don’t care how many Instagram followers Mr. Avo Head has.
Gender reveal mozzarella sticks aren’t coming to a frozen food aisle near you
Your Facebook timeline is truly #blessed.
Now you can share your big news with a little cheese. Introducing Gender Reveal Mozzarella Sticks! Grab a box for your big reveal: https://t.co/bQud4NwgaU#FarmRichReveals#MomtoBe#ItsaBoy#ItsaGirlpic.twitter.com/8cgupOx67a
— Farm Rich Snacks (@FarmRichSnacks) April 1, 2019
SodaStream didn’t discover how to turn burps into Seltzer
… yet.
Houston we solved the problem!
Burping in space is a thing of the past. Introducing our new collaboration with @StationCDRKelly, SodastreamME!
Tag a friend you KNOW needs this:) pic.twitter.com/Cx3BIaickU— SodaStream USA (@SodaStreamUSA) April 1, 2019
Dunkin’ didn’t created its first-ever, edible Super Dough Coffee Holder
Not an April Fools’ Day prank: Dunkin’s Peeps-flavored coffee…
Introducing… The Super Dough Holder! 🍩 pic.twitter.com/K5zt4TO4m2
— Dunkin' (@dunkindonuts) April 1, 2019
Tinder’s new height verification feature is a lie
Let the catfishing continue.
Introducing the thing you never asked for, but definitely always wanted—Tinder Height Verification. Coming soon.
Read more about it here: https://t.co/8MER0L1U6Wpic.twitter.com/hZ507zSoic— Tinder (@Tinder) March 29, 2019
McDonald’s isn’t rolling out milkshake-flavored dipping sauces
All sweet and no sour.
Meet #ShakeSauce — a sweet new way to dip. Pic.twitter.com/0c5h8xJZg5
— McDonald's (@McDonalds) April 1, 2019
HyperX and Nissin aren’t collaborating on Cup of Noodles headphones
Dr. Dre just took a big sigh of relief.
These sounds are gonna be hot… 🔥
Introducing @OrigCupNoodles x HyperX Cup MIX-IN Headset: https://t.co/kMp3CCKzmfpic.twitter.com/JAHCURZ4FB
— HyperX (@HyperX) April 1, 2019
White Castle’s auctioning off a 98-year-old burger
No need to participate in the live stream auction of the chain’s first Original Slider, carbon frozen since 1921.
In 1921, we carbon froze our very first Original Slider. 98 years later, we’re auctioning it off to you Cravers. Tune in to our livestream auction now! Https://t.co/QDTuP7j1orpic.twitter.com/LKjwguEnwG
— White Castle (@WhiteCastle) April 1, 2019
Fresh Direct didn’t figure out how to turn cauliflower into dairy-free milk
Caulk isn’t real, but pea milk certainly is.
Let's talk Caulk! Go behind the scenes for an intimate look at how our FreshDirect experts created the latest innovation in non-dairy milk: https://t.co/VB5ZKHdB1qpic.twitter.com/KhIdzuikvp
— FreshDirect (@FreshDirect) April 1, 2019
Halo Top unfortunately didn’t invent edible, ice cream face masks
This is a 17-step skin care regiment in which I’d happily partake.
You look like a snack, so your skincare routine should compliment that. Which explains why when we discovered skincare benefits in our ice cream, we decided to develop something special just for our fans- Introducing, new Halo Top Face Masks! Check it out:https://t.co/SeAIQydgP0pic.twitter.com/8t0h17fXba
— Halo Top (@HaloTopCreamery) April 1, 2019
Roku didn’t create a dog-friendly remote control
Your pooch can’t use the Press Paw remote to catch up on Vanderpump Rules.
We recently surveyed our customers and identified a major pet peeve. 🐶
Introducing the #Roku Press Paws Remote ➡️ https://t.co/djtZjcAa7kpic.twitter.com/6WMieTzzL7
— Roku (@Roku) April 1, 2019
Tik Tok didn’t hire DJ Khaled as a c-suiteexec
The rapper announced he was the company’s new Chief Motivation Officer.
Proud to announce that I am the FIRST and the NEW CHIEF MOTIVATIONAL OFFICER for TIKTOK. #sponsored Follow me on @TikTok_US@DJKhaled and visit https://t.co/4fevVeESC8 Let's get inspired. BLESS UP. https://t.co/XTeY7SW0Z2pic.twitter.com/1Bw8BaJMmp
— DJ KHALED (@djkhaled) April 1, 2019
Shutterstock isn’t going brick-and-mortar
The video and image online marketplace said it was building the world’s largest physical library with 250 million images, 14 million reels of film, and 20,000 music tracks.
Move over @librarycongress! @Shutterstock is opening the world’s largest brick-and-mortar stock library with 250 million images, 14 million reels of film & 20,000 music tracks. Check out the enormous structure: https://t.co/zwo8lW9Fpp#ShutterstockLibrary#ItsShutterstockpic.twitter.com/0fU5BGP7nW
— Shutterstock (@Shutterstock) April 1, 2019
Google hasn’t found a way to let you talk to tulips
Although, the tech giant will let you play Snake on Google Maps for the next week.
Burger King actually IS launching a plant-based burger with ImpossibleFoods
Although it did successfully trick carnivores into thinking it was meat.
Virgin Voyages won’t fly customers to cruise ships via private jet
Only Richard Branson gets to do that. (Probably.)
TFW you arrive on the ship by private jet. Wait, you don’t know that feeling? Not… yet anyway. Introducing Ship 2 and upgraded RockStar Sailor experiences, private jets and The Runway to house them. #RockStarPJ#VirginVoyages#AreWeForReal? Pic.twitter.com/DLSqR2dDht
— Virgin Voyages ⚓️ (@VirginVoyages) April 1, 2019