“Work-life balance is a lie,” according to Thasunda Brown Duckett, president and CEO of financial services company TIAA and just one of two Black women CEOs in the Coins2Day 500.
The pandemic sparked a greater awareness of and increased calls for a seemingly unattainable work-life balance, resulting in cross-industry acceptance of flexible work models and, in some instances, quiet quitting or the pursuit of a “soft life.” But in the executive ranks, attaining work-life balance still seems to be outside leaders’ grasp.
“I remember the days where I get up in the morning, and I don’t see my kids. I get home at night, and I don’t see my kids, because I do work hard. I feel like I’m catching an L because that didn’t reconcile,” Duckett told Coins2Day CEO Alan Murray during Columbia Journalism School’s Knight-Bagehot gala on Tuesday.
Rather than chasing the ever-illusive work-life balance, Duckett said she has shifted her mindset and approaches life like a diversified portfolio. She urged attendees to list everything that matters to them, sharing that her list includes her roles as an executive, philanthropist, daughter, mother, wife, sister, and friend. She allocates her time among these disparate functions.
“The reality is you do not have 110%, so tell the truth. I only have 100%,” Duckett said. “The reality is my children do not get 100% of me. Tell the truth; they probably get about 30%.
“Because I told the truth that my kids only get about 30%, I am a much more present mother,” she continued. “I give them 100% of my time within that 30%.”
Keeping with her investment metaphor, Duckett said this perspective shift allows her to “respond to market volatility” and recalibrate her portfolio. “Sometimes you have to short the stock.”
Duckett noted that her brother suddenly died last year, forcing her to increase the time allocated to her parents and decrease it for friends. And given the increased demands placed on leaders today, she’s also raised the time allocated to her CEO and philanthropist roles.
Duckett isn’t the only CEO who’s spoken candidly about the tension between their personal and professional lives.Starbucks CEO Laxman Narasimhan recently told Coins2Day that after 6 p.m., “it’s got to be a pretty high bar to keep me away from my family,” adding that he schedules about 150 to 250 minutes of exercise each week.
As for Duckett, she told audience members: “If you live your life like a diversified portfolio, everything that matters to you is in there.
“In any given market or season, I may not be a great mom because I’m here and not at home, but over time, I’m a really good mom.”
Duckett admitted there are times when she doesn’t feel like the best executive, but in the long run, the CEO said, she believes she’s an effective leader.
“If you live your life like a diversified portfolio, over time, you will outperform this thing called life,” she said before repeating her conviction that work-life balance is a lie. “But you can live a joyful life.”
