NYU professor says traditional networking is ‘nonsense’ — instead, real friendships are key to success

“Students in college are told by their parents and their professors: network, network, network. And I just think it’s nonsense,” Welch said in a recent video on TikTok. “I think it’s nonsense because I’ve watched business for the past 40 years of my life, and I see how it works. And it works because of friendships, not networking.”

When Gen Xers and baby boomers were on the prowl for jobs in their 20s, walking into an office building and handing over their resumes wasn’t out of the ordinary. Hitting the streets and hopping from offices to industry events could even potentially land them a job.

But unlocking a career opportunity today may take more depth than simply sharing a business card. And Welch would know; the seasoned consultant, business columnist, and news contributor has witnessed what has worked over the past four decades. 

“This idea that you’re going to stand in a vast hotel conference room and hand somebody your card, and it’s going to result in a great career is completely crazy,” Welch continued. “You should take the time that you waste networking and commit to learning how to be a friend to people.”

In actuality, she explained that building deep connections over many years could help professionals climb the corporate totem pole in the long run. Success might not be instant, but it’s a foolproof way to keep opportunities flowing. 

“It works because over the course of your life, you have become friends with somebody. You have done favors for them without any expectation of return, and then over time, one day, there’s a piece of business, and they’re the ones who help you get it,” Welch said. “And this is how businesses actually run: friendship on top of friendship, on top of friendship.”

How leaders leverage friendship in their professional lives

Welch isn’t the only business leader who leans on their pals to enrich their careers.  

Billionaire philanthropist and early Microsoft employee Melinda French Gatesis booked out every Monday morning for a walk with her three closest female friends, with whom she’s been connected for more than 30 years. Those routine strolls are a time for her to seek wisdom from her closest confidants, which has proved to be essential in getting through the highs and lows of her personal and professional lives. A business partner or distant acquaintance might not be so honest in giving advice—but lifelong friends aren’t afraid to give real feedback. 

“They are my truth council. Whenever I’m going to make a really hard decision or make a big transition, I know I have to have the courage to tell them…and they’re honest with me,” French Gates told Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King in an interview last year. “You actually need a friend who will tell you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it. I’ll say about my friends, they have a perspective on me, and I have a perspective on them.”

In that same conversation, Winfrey and King opened up about what they’ve gained from their nearly five-decades-long relationship. The media icon and TV host first met back in 1976 at a Baltimore news station, when 22-year-old Winfrey was just getting her career off the ground as an anchor. She offered 21-year-old King a job as a production assistant, and the rest is history. That initial moment of support—and the ways they’ve championed each other over the past 49 years—have been essential in moments of professional change. 

For example, when Winfrey wanted to head to Chicago, where competing daytime talk-show host Phil Donahue was also based, people discouraged her from making the jump and potentially losing viewers. But King encouraged her to take the leap—something a surface-level networking connection might not advise. Moments like these were critical in building her media empire. 

“Had I not had somebody who believed that me moving to Chicago could be successful, I might have not made the move,” said Winfrey in the 2024 video interview.