From the viral “Coldplay couple” to Elon Musk’s children with a Neuralink executive, we’re fascinated by office romances — especially when the boss is involved. They inspire gossip, spark debates about power and consent, and occasionally end in scandal. But beyond the headlines lies a serious question: What happens, economically and professionally, when a manager and a subordinate become involved?
TL;DR
- Office romances with a boss can boost subordinate earnings by 6% while lasting.
- Relationship breakups with a manager cause subordinate earnings to fall by 18%.
- Workplace romances increase employee turnover by 14% among coworkers.
- Companies can mitigate risks with policies preventing managers from supervising partners.
To find out, my colleagues David Macdonald, Jerry Montonen, and I analyzed administrative data covering the entire population of Finland over 30 years. Our research revealed that starting a serious relationship with a manager at your workplace can have benefits — while it lasts. But when it ends, the costs are steep for the less powerful person in the relationship. These relationships also have a negative impact on the broader workplace environment, increasing turnover among the couple’s coworkers.
The honeymoon period
Our research is one of the first large-scale, population-level studies of workplace relationships that cross organizational hierarchies. We looked at the career paths of every cohabiting couple in Finland from 1988 to 2018, focusing on those who worked in the same organization and where one partner was in a managerial position.
We found that while these office romances last, the subordinate’s career flourishes. On average, their earnings rise by 6% (compared to people who start a relationship with a manager who is not in the same workplace). This increase happens gradually over the first two years of the relationship as the couple gets more serious.
The vast majority of relationships in our study involve a female subordinate and a male manager. But when we look at the small pool of men who date female managers, we find they experience even larger earnings gains than women who date male managers.
Is the pay bump a result of favoritism? Or could a relationship with a higher-up lead to mentorship and professional growth? We find that if the subordinate moves to a new firm, the earning gains shrink by half. If the manager leaves, they disappear entirely. These results look less like talent development and more like a manager giving preferential treatment to someone they’re dating.
The break-up penalty
Starting an office romance has its perks, but breaking up brings a steep price. The subordinate’s earnings fall by an average of 18%, more than undoing any previous benefits. And the negative effects last at least four years. Employment rates drop sharply as well. Following a breakup with a manager from a different workplace, subordinates are 13 percentage points more likely to exit the labor force within the subsequent year.
The effects reach further than the pair, with evident ripple effects on colleagues. When an office romance sparks, an organization's employee retention declines by six percentage points, resulting in 14% higher turnover compared to similar companies. Firms experience greater departures when they are smaller or when employees receive larger salary increases during their tenure. When office relationships are seen as unfair, trust diminishes, causing talented individuals to leave.
Why it matters for business
Our research sheds light on the increasing prevalence of corporate policies that limit or prohibit inter-departmental romantic connections. McDonald's forbids romantic relationships between managers and those they supervise, directly or indirectly. The company's strict adherence to policy led to the 2019 termination of CEO Stephen Easterbrook due to a consensual relationship with a staff member.
When romantic connections develop inside work hierarchies, the repercussions reach much further than just the two individuals concerned. Such connections might alter compensation frameworks, disrupt career advancement routes, and negatively impact the spirit of all employees present. Robust guidelines can help lessen these dangers, especially if they stop supervisors from directly supervising their associate's tasks or impacting their professional advancement. These guidelines aren't intended to prohibit all workplace romances, but rather to safeguard all involved individuals and the wider group from potential professional repercussions.
The lasting allure of the office romance
Many of us are aware of individuals who discovered romance in their professional settings. You could be among them. The workplace was the fourth most common place couples met from 2000 to 2019. One in four U.S. Employees has experienced an office romance, with 18% of them having gone on a date with their boss.
Our discoveries don't indicate that all office relationships are destined to fail or are inherently abusive. Indeed, our findings indicate these connections often endure longer than comparable ones. Shared interests and increased time spent together might make an office romance a more appealing and enjoyable option compared to using a dating app. However, it might also indicate the substantial personal and financial burdens associated with ending a relationship. The strong incentive to remain in an unsatisfactory relationship is amplified when ending it also entails losing one's employment or professional reputation.
The point isn't that affection shouldn't exist in the workplace. It’s that power does not mix well with it. Companies can’t (and shouldn’t) legislate attraction out of existence, but they can create safeguards that limit the damage when it occurs. Policies that prevent managers from supervising or evaluating their partners are a start. So are transparency and an acknowledgment that while these relationships can turn out well, they also carry real, measurable risks for the parties involved and for their colleagues.
The fascination with boss-employee relationships will probably never fade. But the data suggest that, for most people and most companies, the costs of mixing love and leadership are stark, and may exceed the rewards.
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